Thursday, October 20, 2005

Most crucial skill for success?

This was the topic of our second soft skills session conducted by Mr. Madhira Vishweswar..

As some of the students pointed out, this is a short list of things that you need for success in life:
- Determination
- Dedication
- Discipline
- Passion
- Creativity
- Honesty
...... but which is the most crucial skill is the question.. Mr. Vishweswar pointed it to be this:

Ability to Handle People


This in itself is composed of 3 other things or as one may say consists of 3 phases, considering handling people as a process. These are:

Understanding - One needs to have a proper understanding of the other person's behavior before planning for his own action
Predicting - One should be able to predict the reaction of other person before acting upon something.
Influencing - Once clear with the above two, one should go forward and try to influence the other person

Johari's Window

Then he told us something about this beautiful theory to understand people. You could look at it here . One can see the image made up of 4 sections. These are:

Open - This section consists of our qualities that are open for everyone to see. For example, say Mr.xyz is an angry man. Now that's open to all and is thus considered to occupy the first section.
Blind - This section consists of our qualities that are known to others but we are blind to them. For example, say Mr.xyz has a really bad habit of interrupting people in between. Mr.xyz may be completely blind to his nature.
Hidden - This section is the one that we keep hidden from others. There are lots of things that we keep secret in our day to day life. We don't wish to disclose them to others considering them embarassed, humiliating, foolish or unacceptable by the society.
Unknown - This part is the one that noone knows about. We happen to know about it in extreme conditions. For example, some ppl living in Bombay never realized that they had such courage to go around in flooded areas and save the dying people. It was only in the extreme conditions of the need that such attitude came out.

Now everyone wishes to be acceptable, effective and successful in society. It's only when he/she has a large open section that people tend to like you more. This happens because they don't find you manipulative anymore. On the other hand, one should make such an attempt so as to make this 'open' section look bigger than it possibly is.

Now, to enlargen the open section, one needs to disclose his/her secrets. There is when self-disclosure comes into picture. Telling your secrets really gives you a sigh of relief. Believe me, I've tried it a couple of times. It's not really easy to disclose your secret but then everyone has at least one person in his/her life with whom you share most of the things and who knows you inside out. Catch hold of that person, disclose your secret and look at the consequences. Most of the time, they'll be helpful. They'll be very helpful.

To decrease the 'hidden' section, one needs to get feedback from others. Ask others to tell your weeknesses. Ask them to tell what they exactly feel about
you. Decrease your 'hidden' section by getting to know yourself through the eyes of others.

'Unknown' section could be decreased only when we start taking chances in life, when we start catching hold of the opportunities. Its only then we start to realize some of the great strengths and weaknesses hidden deep within us.

Some questions

Later, before the class got over, Mr. Madhira asked these questions. We had to answer them honestly. Believe me, this is how you get over your fears and enlargen the 'open' section of the johari window. It takes an effor just for the first time. You feel much relaxed later.

Q) Have you ever cheated in the exams?
My Ans) YES... a couple of times.. life would have been much tougher otherwise ;)

Q) Have you ever stolen things from your parents/friends/relatives?
My Ans) YES... I did some bad things when I was young. But then I was lucky enough to have very disciplined parents who gave me good values.

Q) Have you ever had mental sex with anyone?
My Ans) YES... Do you want me to disclose the victim's name :P

For the third one, he said that all those who didn't do such acts need to take an appointment from the doctor ;) .. Everyone does and there's nothing to feel ashamed about it. That's one of the most important parts in human life. There could be a couple of more such interesting questions that would let you open your heart out. It would take some effort to speak the truth but it'll be great fun.

just in case you are reading through this and feel interested, post some interesting questions and your answers to them ;) Others might post their answers too. It'll be exciting.

My question: Have you ever been attracted towards a person of the same sex?
My Answer: Thanks to GOd.. Never ever :D

Post.. post.. post.. don't let this chance go..

PS: No proof reading :)

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