Tuesday, January 25, 2005

How do we hurt ourselves?

Its not always the other who hurts us. Sometimes, we hurt ourselves. Yes, we really do. We generally realize this wen its too late. Its too late to compensate for the mistake ; too late for the situation to turn our way. All we can do then is face the realities; face the results of those mistakes that we committed. Why do we make mistakes? May be to learn from them. But we commit those mistakes again. Then, why feel bad abt committing them. Feel bad, wen u tried and u failed. Dont feel bad wen u didnt bother to learn from the earlier mistakes.

After doing less coding in almost all the projects, you dont want to do the qt version scanning portal's testing. You want ppl to work equally for that. But then, other makes you realize your earlier contribution and you understand the heavy mistake that you made. You didnt want to be the developer earlier and neither do u want to be the tester. Now, you think of being a developer. What the fuck? Anyways, I'll have to face the consequences of not participating much earlier. Instead of thinking abt the situation, start working hard. Devote more time to get on that.

I asked chhote to do the testing part. It was bad wen he sed that he never asked me to do things earlier. It was bad as a feeling, it wasnt bad on his part. He was absolutely right and believe me I am really obliged for this. I am really obliged as chhota never asked me to do much. Most of the projects could be completed because of him. He worked hard enuff to get things done. I really like him. It was bad to think that am I really getting selfish. Now, I want both of us to work and earlier I didnt want to do nething at all because of my laziness. Why is it that I always want things to go my way? This is bad and this is what hurts me. It hurts me to think that I am not good. I dont exude humility. I need to get better. I need to change myself. GOD bless me. GOD change me for my good. GOD change me for others' good.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Why care for this damn society

I dont understand the purpose of caring for this foolish society. Why do we need to think a couple of times before performing any action? Why cant we just do what we wish? Why do we need to explain the reasons behind those actions? Why do we need to think of those reasons? Why do we need to make excuses? Why do we need to give those excuses? Why isnt this society intelligent and understandable? Why do we always have to feel bad abt what we did?

I dont know what this crap means. I dont want to know all that. But still, at times, we care for ppl who hold no importance in our life. We care for ppl who are damn foolish. We care for ppl who dont care for us. Why is all this happening?

I want to live my life, the way I want. I want to follow my heart. All I want to care for is my family and teachers. Now this family counts in other ppl too. Someone's getting to make a strong relation these days. Why is this happening? I dont understand. These thoughts have poured in my mind, only because of this new strong relation which is slowly getting build up. I really respect that relation but at times, ppl dont understand and neither do they have the gutts to talk abt it in front of us. They are like those artists working backstage in life. They are the ppl who make us think all the possible crap. They are the ppl who stress up our mind. They are the ppl who've made me hate this society and the society's customs. I dont care for anyone. I dont want to care for anyone. All I care for is my family. All I care for is an understanding citizen of this society. I dont like to talk to backstage ppl and I just hate them. I hate them.

Feel less, talk more

Is it right when we say that - "You talk more about the topic when it isnt that close to your heart. And if it is, you rarely tend to talk abt it. You rarely disclose your feelings in front of others." This is something that I've been thinking since long time.

Generally if one likes something, one tends to tell ppl. We feel like expressing our happiness. We wish to express that joy within. But is this always true? Is the fact true when matter gets personal? Do you still tell everyone abt it? Guess, not. But I did. I did tell many ppl abt it. And if I retrospect, I try to explain the reasons behind it. May be this very next paragraph helps.

Assume that 'pi' needs 'sigma' in its life. Well, these are just the variables. Now sigma is really close to its heart. Its really personal. But pi tells many ppl abt it. Sigma, for the time being isnt willing to come close to pi. Then, why does pi tell everyone. May be pi feels good when it talks abt sigma. may be it feels more confident within. May be pi just isnt able to forget sigma or may be it doesnt want to forget sigma. May be pi has just sigma in mind. May be pi is deeply attached to sigma. May be pi wishes to get sigma in any possible way. May be pi needs sigma. May be pi doesnt feel ashamed abt liking sigma. May be pi isnt afraid of other' thoughts. May be pi doesnt care for anyone. May be pi wants sigma to understand that. May be pi wants to get out all those troubling thoughts related to sigma. May be pi wants sigma to feel its need. Pi's really confused. Pi doesnt want to think more abt it. Why is pi acting that way? Why isnt pi ready to face the fact that its life is kinda empty without sigma. Why does pi get emotional all the time? Pi has to change. Pi has to change the thoughts totally. Pi has to concenterate on more important things in life.

GOD bless sigma.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

How can anger eat up your mind?

Why do we say pinching things in anger and feel the mistake only when its too late? Think twice before you speak. But this thinking power vanishes once u're angry. I mean its bad.. Why feel angry abt things?

Its not just once or twice. You feel the mistake, assure yourself of not repeating it and repeat it wen angry. aah.. wen will we stop repeating the mistakes? Wen will we start to learn from them? Wen will we change? Why doesnt the human attitude change?

You keep grudges for someone and the grudges come out in sentences that shouldnt be said. Well, its true that in anger with someone, we try to hurt the other person with watever we can. Sometimes its weapons, but more dangerous are these words. More dangerous are the comments that we make. Outer injury can be healed. But one sentence might ruin someone's life. One sentence might make someone's life miserable. Depression is just one such case. Words can be used to make someone's life too. Why not use it that way? Now, you have to be decide it for yourself. Make someone's life or ruin it. desi bhasha says - punya kamaa le ya paapi ban jaa.. Who knows where we land up? Who knows that we might be in similar hurting situation sometime? Who knows wen we need someone? Why ruin lives and relationships? Understand these things.. Make someone's life today. Motivate ppl for their good. be more caring. You'll get it back some day. Who knows wen u need it? Keep an impression behind, wherever u go. Make ppl feel good for this life..

I won't be able to forget the fact that I made similar mistakes of using cheap n low comments for Siddharth Dhawan in 7th standard and for Vishwas Rao on 19th Jan'05. Bad bad bad.. We find mistakes in ppl. Why dont we look at ourselves? What are we at this point of time? Mere dependents.. Dependents for everything in life.. Dependents on parents (financially n mentally) ; Dependents on frnds around (motivationally) ; Dependents on the ppl in contact (you need to get ur jobs n tasks done) ; Dependents on some special ppl (Love) ; Dependents on ppl to criticize you wen u make mistake ; Dependents on ppl to gain experiences in life ; Dependents on ppl to make you strong within.. We dont have a standing of our own and we talk abt commenting ppl.. Why dont we change our thoughts? Change urself today. You'll do good to some. May be that is the staircase to heaven.
All the best
GOD bless.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Why do we treat different people differently?

Why is it that we treat ppl differently? Aren't they made by the same Almighty? Agreed that they might be from different backgrounds ; agreed that they might have got different kind of treatments in their past ; agreed that the attitudes might be different ; agreed that they might treat us differently. Agreed for everything. But wont you agree that all of us have an organ named 'heart'.. Somewhere deep within, we are emotional. Somewhere deep within, we care for others. Somewhere deep within, we feel that doing good would lead us to heaven. But still, we dont keep similar healthy and positive feelings for everyone around us.

We oftenly use this quote saying - "Life is an echo. You get back what you give" .. Still we arent ready to be good to all. I too have grudges for some people. Well, I wont like to mention the names. But why is it that mostly, we fail to understand the other person. Well, no comments. This is life. You like some people, you like to be in touch with few of them, you really love some others. And there's always a time when you have a special person in your life. Why dont we contradict now? Why dont we say that we should love everyone around us. :) Nah.. The feelings of love are meant for very few special ppl.

No more comments on this. Live the way, life wants you to. Live the way you want. Live whole heartedly. Love whom you want to. Like whom you want to. And yaaasss.. hate those whom you want to. Go ahead. All the best.. And GOD bless you

The word is 'compromise'

There are two people. Both of them are supposed to be good friends. But they aren't. Everyone feels that they are quite close. Both show that they are quite friendly to each other. But deep within, they have hard feelings for the other. And why is this? They have their projects together. They are the only two talking to each other most of the day. Then why do they have the feeling of anger for the other person? Is it because of competition? aah.. dont tell me.. You are supposed to work hard seeing the performance of other person. You aren't supposed to get jealous. May be you can feel envious of other.. But J factor shouldn't come in between. The differences are definitely because of the J factor. Reasons may be any.

And by the way, why are they acting such way. Both of them know the other's feelings. Why dont they try and compromise? Why dont they sit and sort out the matter? They know that there's no one else with whom they can be good friends. Still they aren't trying to get out of this deadlock. And the hatred is just increasing day by day. Why is it that our egos come on the way? Why do we feel that we'll lose if we talk about others benefit? Why do we feel that we are the best and the other should compromise. The word compromise isnt made to be used in such philosophical articles. It is used to be used in your qualities. Why dont we exude humility? Why dont we be more caring for the people around? Why dont we understand that we all need each other some day? Why dont we understand the correct meaning of this life? Why dont we be more understanding, caring and compromising? Why Why Wjy.. We get irritated within. We tell other people. We irritate them. We irritate the atmosphere around. We disturb the energies around. We disturb the aura around us. All we're doing is polluting the aura. And that is what is troubling us. That is what is keeping us unhappy all the time. C'mon.. Grow up people. Understand the real meaning of your life. Stop fighting among yourselves. Stop keeping that feeling of jealousy. Stop all this non-sense. Start helping, understanding people around. That is how you would achieve happiness in life. That is the key of success.

GOD bless all of us. GOD, plz give us that strength to fight our egos. They are the greatest barriers keeping us away from healthy human relations.
ek tu hi nirankar, main teri sharan hun, mujhe baksh lo.